Call of Duty & premature ejaculation - Honda-Tech

obsidianG35 · 10-09-2008, 01:49 PM

So we have a coworker named Jose who talks alot of smack, and claims to be better than everybody, especially in video games.
So my other coworker finds an Gizmodo article about the correlation between gaming skills and bed skillz.
http://gizmodo.com/5060687/sci...lator
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
After a study of 200 Dutch men, scientists found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. And, unfortunately for all of you awesome Call of Duty players out there, those affected seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example." Oh, cruel fate!

Well, at least now you have an excuse, both for your lousy performance in the sack and your awesome performance on Xbox Live. The only problem is that now you can expect a whole new barrage of insults coming over your headset every time you take down an opponent.

So what's this mean for you in the long run, my prematurely ejaculating, headshotting friend? Maybe a drug that'll let you last longer without buying those condoms with numbing juice in the tip. However, if you had the option of taking a pill that would make you a stallion in the sack but make you suck at video games, would you do it? Talk about your tough decisions.
</TD></TR></TABLE>
Joe hasn't seen this article yet so we decide to send him and everyone else in our department this email
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
Joe,

I have someone that guarantees to beat you down in CoD4.

So, in a scale of 1-10 with 10 having cat like reflexes in the game, how good do you consider yourself at Call of Duty?
</TD></TR></TABLE>

Of course, Joe is first to respond:
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
I would rate myself a 8 ½ -9. I might need to play for at least 1 hour to get back into it. The key to the game is muscle memory. I need to find my mouse targeting skills to be exact; I’ll need to play it for about 1 -2 hours to get it back. I can kill a target at just about any range.. with an M16 in about ½ second. My hit to miss ratio I would guess is about 88%.
</TD></TR></TABLE>
We laughed so hard..
We replied:
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
Sounds like you’re awesome and have crazy mad…..reflexes, oh, I forgot the link.

http://gizmodo.com/5060687/sci...lator

and don’t respond with stuff that’s out of line for work email…

</TD></TR></TABLE>
He hasn't responded yet.

Tokyosmash! · 10-09-2008, 01:52 PM

lol

mgags7 · 10-09-2008, 01:53 PM

bwahahaha didn't see that coming

Honda-Tech Balla · 10-09-2008, 01:54 PM

Good thing I'm not good at Call of Duty

neardon · 10-09-2008, 01:56 PM

So premature ejaculation is appropriate for work email? You must work in a place where this is pretty common then.

ZTwentyH8 · 10-09-2008, 01:57 PM

I'm good at video games and I don't get off too soon. Wish I could though. Would free up some days.

JDM_Ej · 10-09-2008, 01:59 PM

So THATS explains why I suck at video games so much.

JustAnotherRex · 10-09-2008, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTwentyH8

I'm good at video games and I don't get off too soon. Wish I could though. Would free up some days.

Being a doctor and a lawyer helps you know, I find that while I'm good at videogames, making headshots and having sex at the same time can be a little rough at times.

Its all about time management though!

ChanDangle · 10-09-2008, 02:04 PM

I can give you a list of them.

J.EM1
Dc2 Fanatic
TriiiME3
vertius
hellracer24
A.C. Slater
b16ada6
EvoJey
Vogizzle
STImachine
Kutsuju_SLeePER
Nevets
cd5_2NR
nathanong87
crdcz03
Uncle Ben's
Shaun
96dxpower
ekasey
sean
t o m
pho:20
Sick Boy 82
Egg-weezy
Micha

I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot more.

AVA · 10-09-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChanDangle

I can give you a list of them.

J.EM1
Dc2 Fanatic
TriiiME3
vertius
hellracer24
A.C. Slater
b16ada6
EvoJey
Vogizzle
STImachine
Kutsuju_SLeePER
Nevets
cd5_2NR
nathanong87
crdcz03
Uncle Ben's
Shaun
96dxpower
ekasey
sean
t o m
pho:20
Sick Boy 82
Egg-weezy
Micha

I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot more.

owneddddddddddd

xtrac1 · 10-09-2008, 02:07 PM

Bravo is #1!

SilentEdge · 10-09-2008, 02:07 PM

Shit I'm good at COD4 and I have really good reflexes because I'm a goalie...

crdcz03 · 10-09-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChanDangle

I can give you a list of them.

ChanDangle
J.EM1
Dc2 Fanatic
TriiiME3
vertius
hellracer24
A.C. Slater
b16ada6
EvoJey
Vogizzle
STImachine
Kutsuju_SLeePER
Nevets
cd5_2NR
nathanong87
crdcz03
Uncle Ben's
Shaun
96dxpower
ekasey
sean
t o m
pho:20
Sick Boy 82
Egg-weezy
Micha

I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot more.

bhahahaha! i also like how you left your name out so i fixed it for you.

btw, if this is true then i would use the excuse that i cut sexy time short b/c i just wanna get back on the game.

but then again, i have yet to find out if im a premmie

crdcz03 · 10-09-2008, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentEdge

Shit I'm good at COD4 and I have really good reflexes because I'm a goalie...

bish plz you never even play

CD5SiRHero · 10-09-2008, 02:10 PM

lmao..this thread is win.

esco562 · 10-09-2008, 02:11 PM

How come I'm so awesome at COD4 and can still smash p00n for dayzzz

CD5SiRHero · 10-09-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by esco562

How come I'm so awesome at COD4 and can still smash p00n for dayzzz

Suuuuure buddy

HT ads pefect timing:

J.EM1 · 10-09-2008, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChanDangle

I can give you a list of them.

J.EM1..

Quote:

Originally Posted by xtrac1

Bravo is #1!

F*ck you!

obsidianG35 · 10-09-2008, 02:16 PM

Here is Joe's response after 20 mins:
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
LOL.. nice setup.. however.. in all seriousness serious gamers that hone in their quick reflexes from simply practice just don't date as much. So the idea that they release quicker would make sense since it's usually experiences they don't visit too often.
</TD></TR></TABLE>
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
LOL.. I just realized something even funnier. I find it interesting that you clicked to read this story.. Hmm.. you used to be ranked Number 1 in Rouge Spear. Hiding something?
</TD></TR></TABLE>
Haha, nice try

ChanDangle · 10-09-2008, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crdcz03

bhahahaha! i also like how you left your name out so i fixed it for you.

btw, if this is true then i would use the excuse that i cut sexy time short b/c i just wanna get back on the game.

but then again, i have yet to find out if im a premmie

Ass. lol I feel bad for b00st(96dxpower) he's one of the best fobs in the league haha.

J.EM1 · 10-09-2008, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChanDangle

Ass. lol I feel bad for b00st(96dxpower) he's one of the best fobs in the league haha.

He has the highest K/D ratio than all of us. lulz

NOT A Obvious Troll · 10-09-2008, 02:25 PM

I can smash my girl for days on end and beat the shit out of you on COD too.

If you don't believe me, lube your shit up and I'll show you, yes homo.

10-09-2008, 01:52 PM	#2
Tokyosmash! Everyone gets a good title but me Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Red Lion, PA, U.S Posts: 3,032	Re: Call of Duty & premature ejaculation (obsidianG35) lol __________________ -Ben Danpat <3 is teh hot krew #02

10-09-2008, 01:53 PM	#3
mgags7 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Between headphones, NC Posts: 14,382	bwahahaha didn't see that coming __________________ Matt ███

10-09-2008, 01:54 PM	#4
Honda-Tech Balla Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Im kind of a big deal, around here Posts: 9,456	Re: (mgags7) Good thing I'm not good at Call of Duty __________________ This "new" layout BLOWS. Xbox 360 GT: TR Phenom

10-09-2008, 01:56 PM	#5
neardon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 181	Re: Call of Duty & premature ejaculation (obsidianG35) So premature ejaculation is appropriate for work email? You must work in a place where this is pretty common then.

10-09-2008, 01:59 PM	#7
JDM_Ej HT Order of Merit Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Norwalk, CT Posts: 5,688	Re: Call of Duty & premature ejaculation (neardon) So THATS explains why I suck at video games so much. __________________ Mike 2002 Infiniti G20 /////Alpine JL Focal "Secrecy, being an instrument of conspiracy, ought never to be the system of a regular government. "- Jeremy Bentham

10-09-2008, 01:49 PM	#1
obsidianG35 Join Date: May 2002 Location: USA Posts: 243	Call of Duty & premature ejaculation So we have a coworker named Jose who talks alot of smack, and claims to be better than everybody, especially in video games. So my other coworker finds an Gizmodo article about the correlation between gaming skills and bed skillz. http://gizmodo.com/5060687/sci...lator <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> After a study of 200 Dutch men, scientists found that those with a premature ejaculation problem all had a version of a gene that controls the release of serotonin. And, unfortunately for all of you awesome Call of Duty players out there, those affected seem to "have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example." Oh, cruel fate! Well, at least now you have an excuse, both for your lousy performance in the sack and your awesome performance on Xbox Live. The only problem is that now you can expect a whole new barrage of insults coming over your headset every time you take down an opponent. So what's this mean for you in the long run, my prematurely ejaculating, headshotting friend? Maybe a drug that'll let you last longer without buying those condoms with numbing juice in the tip. However, if you had the option of taking a pill that would make you a stallion in the sack but make you suck at video games, would you do it? Talk about your tough decisions. </TD></TR></TABLE> Joe hasn't seen this article yet so we decide to send him and everyone else in our department this email <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> Joe, I have someone that guarantees to beat you down in CoD4. So, in a scale of 1-10 with 10 having cat like reflexes in the game, how good do you consider yourself at Call of Duty? </TD></TR></TABLE> Of course, Joe is first to respond: <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> I would rate myself a 8 ½ -9. I might need to play for at least 1 hour to get back into it. The key to the game is muscle memory. I need to find my mouse targeting skills to be exact; I’ll need to play it for about 1 -2 hours to get it back. I can kill a target at just about any range.. with an M16 in about ½ second. My hit to miss ratio I would guess is about 88%. </TD></TR></TABLE> We laughed so hard.. We replied: <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> Sounds like you’re awesome and have crazy mad…..reflexes, oh, I forgot the link. http://gizmodo.com/5060687/sci...lator and don’t respond with stuff that’s out of line for work email… </TD></TR></TABLE> He hasn't responded yet. __________________ http://www.dreamhost.com :::Unlimited Diskspace & Bandwidth::: Promo code: WINTER50 $50 Off all subscriptions

10-09-2008, 02:04 PM	#9
ChanDangle Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Travis AFB, CA, United States Posts: 1,644	Re: (ZTwentyH8) I can give you a list of them. J.EM1 Dc2 Fanatic TriiiME3 vertius hellracer24 A.C. Slater b16ada6 EvoJey Vogizzle STImachine Kutsuju_SLeePER Nevets cd5_2NR nathanong87 crdcz03 Uncle Ben's Shaun 96dxpower ekasey sean t o m pho:20 Sick Boy 82 Egg-weezy Micha I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot more. __________________ Go Gators! PS3:ChanDangle [NUG] Feb. 08 NUG'n down y0 block! R.I.P. Allen Deluta 01/02/76 - 08/01/08 With all our love. 98 Integra LS- Sold 09/04/08 http://images.honda-tech.com/set1/smile/emsad.gif 04 TSX CGP 6spd- Current

10-09-2008, 02:07 PM	#11
xtrac1 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: redondo beach, ca Posts: 3,520	Bravo is #1!

10-09-2008, 02:10 PM	#15
CD5SiRHero FFFFUUUUUUUU Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,002	Re: lmao..this thread is win. __________________ מיטטרון "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." MA

10-09-2008, 02:16 PM	#19
obsidianG35 Join Date: May 2002 Location: USA Posts: 243	Here is Joe's response after 20 mins: <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> LOL.. nice setup.. however.. in all seriousness serious gamers that hone in their quick reflexes from simply practice just don't date as much. So the idea that they release quicker would make sense since it's usually experiences they don't visit too often. </TD></TR></TABLE> <TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> LOL.. I just realized something even funnier. I find it interesting that you clicked to read this story.. Hmm.. you used to be ranked Number 1 in Rouge Spear. Hiding something? </TD></TR></TABLE> Haha, nice try __________________ http://www.dreamhost.com :::Unlimited Diskspace & Bandwidth::: Promo code: WINTER50 $50 Off all subscriptions

10-09-2008, 02:25 PM	#22
NOT A Obvious Troll Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: 978 Posts: 1,142	Re: (J.EM1) I can smash my girl for days on end and beat the shit out of you on COD too. If you don't believe me, lube your shit up and I'll show you, yes homo. __________________ --- XBL GT: immortaltekniqq ---